Maternal love biography

More AA I was driving in the subway car from the theater after watching a widely known performance about maternal love, more precisely, about its shortage. Many have studied the topic: when the mother throws the child. Yes, this drama is found in life, but, in fact, this is not the most terrible trouble, another drama is much more common, which is not so pronounced and therefore pay less attention to it: this is when maternal love is manifested with excess.

So she brings people the greatest problems, but they talk little about it and write. That is what I thought about, sitting in the carriage. Late evening, few people. The soul is a heavy precipitate after watching the performance due to the fact that the topic is not truly disclosed, despite the fact that the performance has been going on for more than a hundred years and was written by a famous classic.

And here the idea of ​​an “alternative” performance began to be born. It is the idea-without any plans for its implementation. Firstly, I never considered drama to my sphere. Secondly, greater workload did not allow other issues to delve into this topic. Although I immediately felt confidence that I could write this performance, since the topic is well known to me, and on the other, from a more tragic and larger side.

And suddenly a woman comes at the stop, like two drops of water similar to my old patient! In the same black clothes as many years ago, when she was brought to me. That woman lost her son and has lived for two years, immersed in her grief. She could not see joyful faces - how people can smile when her son died! It was a difficult case - no one could get it out of this state, and I had only two hours before her departure.

I managed to return it to life due to the fact that I understood the main reason for the tragedy and was able to convey it to the woman. And I remembered this case for life. And so she appeared in the subway car to tell me that the topic is alive and important, and it needs to be revealed and convey to people. Of course, this was not the same woman, but very similar to her.

I have not been surprised at such a work of the world for a long time. It was a clear clue to me, and I sat down at work. So the chapter “Maternal Love” was written for the book “Living Thoughts”. Several years have passed, and all this time this topic made itself felt. Many new examples have accumulated, I investigated this issue even deeper, and when I was going to write the next book of the series “The World in Me”, several more signs came, which left no doubt about what to write about.

Actually, there are many examples of excessive maternal love. Literally every day. This is truly a mass phenomenon, and when you read this book, you will see what is happening much deeper and you can make out this problem from all sides. And this is more than a million copies. I already know what the life of this son will be. Well, these are her personal problems, but her such worldview is taken to a huge audience, and it can be an example for many.

And nothing is opposed to this, no one will tell the same millionth circulation that she ruins her son! The television program “My Family”, which collected tens of millions of people from TVs, also did not consider the destructive influence of excess motherly love. Almost no one speaks of this, except, perhaps, of special psychological literature, and then there is not deep enough there.

On the day, when I went on a “creative business trip” to write a book to the city of the lakes, I received a letter from C. City of this woman is penetrated by this woman, and it becomes clear from this letter that they parted with the boy’s father five years ago because “he began to abuse alcohol.” From the letter you can see a huge love for his son and a great unity with him.

In all cases, she says “we”: “We were treated”, “We did this ...” and the like. There is an ordinary picture of excess motherly love, which led to the tragedy. This letter was the last straw, and before that I received a sign of a different kind. The first international congress of mothers was held in Moscow. He was carried out in the hall of the cathedrals of the Cathedral of Christ the Savior.

Everything was very solid: the chic hall itself, and many foreign delegations, and representative guests, serious topics of performances, and the high status of the forum. I was invited to speak at this congress, and I decided to declare the topic "Maternal love is the reverse side of the coin." As I expected, all speakers spoke only about one side of maternal love, about the great role of the mother and no one said about the female role or the role of a man and a couple.

As if all life consists precisely in motherhood, and it exists as if by itself, without the unity of a man and a woman, without their love. Even the Orthodox priest in his speech said: “And where are you to divide? I noticed this and reminded her of myself. Finally, she gives me the word, conveying it with these words: "Now I give the word to a person, with the opinion of which you will probably disagree, but show patience and listen." There is no thin one without good.With such a preface, she only aroused interest in my performance and woke up a falling asleep audience.

And surprisingly, my words about the enormous harmfulness of excessive maternal love, that love between parents should be in the first place in the system of values ​​in the first place, and not for the child, caused understanding and positive reaction among the majority! It pleased me. But the host did not give up. She put an unusual case to the vote! I received confirmation that my studies are in the right direction, that in the depths of consciousness, many understand the other side of the medal of maternal love, only you need to transfer this to the practice of life.

So this book was born.

The topic of excessive maternal love is global, only among some peoples it manifests itself weaker, while others are stronger, but it is present and gives rise to many problems around the world: from small family troubles and divorces to the death of children and complex social problems and wars - this is a range of situations where excessive maternal love is the main reason.

Do not rush to deny! Read, think, watch life, and you will surely agree with me and you yourself will find a lot of evidence for what has been said. And this will turn your worldview and you will become wiser. Well, most importantly, if you do not deny and creatively approach this topic, then you can change a lot in your life and in the life of your children for the better. Maternity and love on the train every time interesting meetings take place.

In the cramped space of the car compartment for many hours, as in the baroque, there are several people, so that excellent conditions for deep communication are created. And the world always gives me various situations for learning, a set of experience and to help people. I have already described road stories many times. They are usually simple, ordinary, but they carry a lot of wisdom.

So this time a conversation began in the compartment. Hope was the name of my fellow traveler went to Moscow. The big "son" is, and you call it still so diminutive. After all, he is my baby. And besides, he is the last, I call him so - "My little." I realized that the world again brought me a classic version of excessive maternal love, and I decided to play a psychological performance with this woman.

Why do you say that the child is “mine” and not “ours”? All mothers say so: "My child." Fortunately, not all! And you know, I noticed when the mother calls the child “his own”, and not “ours”, this immediately shows what is the relationship in the family and you can even see what the fate of the child will be. It is like a simple test, but it is always accurate and gives a very objective picture.

And with my husband, bad relationships, most likely, precisely because for you children are the greatest value in life. Yes, and men often drink due to the fact that there is no woman’s love, that she transfers all her female energy into motherhood, depriving her husband. So they begin to drink, walk ... - For me, children are the most expensive in life.

For their sake, I live. But how else? For any mother, if this is really a mother, and not some kind of spinning point, the children are always the most expensive. Mother and life will give for a child. Life rests on Earth precisely thanks to those who think differently and believes that the main thing in life is not children, but a husband and his wife, that is, a couple, this is what is the greatest value, because they create the greatest force in the universe-love, it gives life.

A man and a woman, a couple - this is the biggest value! When the husband drinks, what kind of love and what kind of pair can we talk about? He lives his life, and I and the children are different. He is little interested in the life of children, and indeed all household chores, so everything is on me. Didn't you like him before? And what, from the very first day he began to drink?

Most likely, he has become next to you, therefore, you are involved in such a “growth”. He is very attached to his mother, and she constantly intervened in our life and interfered very much. Why do you repeat the mother -in -law error, don't you see that you are going the same way? Apparently, you are very attached to your children, and they will find the same fate as the Father.

After all, children can only be given what you have! Here you are with your husband and give them the same problems.